A moment with Kevin Ferere
GREETINGS TO THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE GAME
BOTG: What do you think of the feminist movement?
KF: It was a movement that meant well for it’s era and simply got out of hand; because it fed into the selfish side of our human nature. Power can never be trusted.
BOTG: What do you think of the interaction of men and women today?
KF: It has become more of a sublime, psychological combat zone simply because people don’t know what it is to be honest with themselves and their thoughts and emotions. However, we are in the birthpains of an enlightened era where more people are being educated about each other. Which will inevitably pay dividends as we reach a plateau of cordiality with time.
BOTG: Tell us about your book ‘Leave the Fairy Tale Up To Disney; The Reality Of Dating.’
KF: It was a “vomiting” of thoughts festering in the back of my mind since I was old enough to date. I’ve sat back and watched too many people practically ruin their lives simply because of a relationship. No one was telling these people the things I had to tell them, and if they were telling them anything, it was sugarcoated and dumbed down.
BOTG: What influenced you to write this book?
KF: All my life, people have sought me for advice, opened up to me about their personal drama, or spill out there entire life stories to me. Not to mention, the experiences I’ve endured within my own life; as well as personally studying behavioral psychology for years. Writing this book just came to me seamlessly.
BOTG: Do you really believe that many men are playing Prince Charming and every woman is playing a ‘Princess’ to be rescued?
KF: I do believe many men are, but to the extent of what they’ve been taught. Charm and chivalry these days has been relegated to how much money you spend. Holding doors open and things of the like aren’t that much of a priority. For example, how much of an impression would you make on a woman nowadays if you took her on a first date at a fast food restaurant…but you held the doors open, pulled out chairs, even bless the food? Do you see the double standard? Personally, the women establish the standard and the men reinforce it.
BOTG: Describe the Disney mentality.
KF: The Disney mentality is a “damsel-in-distress; my life is a hot mess, come rescue me” mentality. It gives women a false perception of ideal and perfection as far as meeting a potential mate…not even dating one for the long term. The term “happily ever after” ought to be a curse word.
The Disney mentality never at all emphasizes the “bad and the ugly”. The reality that that man isn’t a prince, and that he can’t save you, or save you with one kiss. All he can do is love you and respect you. The reality is that you must save yourself FIRST, and then a man, NOT PRINCE CHARMING will be by your side, not save you.
BOTG: When approaching a woman, what is the first thing a man must do?
KF: Be himself, the best way for him to get that woman THE WAY he wants her is if she respects him. Naturally, we all put on a “representative” to some degree, but as long as that “representative” is alot more consistent with who you really are, in the long run, whether she’s attracted to you or not SHE WILL respect you.
BOTG: Upon approaching a woman, what is the first thing you usually say?
KF: It depends on the situation. Me personally, I don’t like casually approaching a woman on the street, simply because that woman and myself are in a completely different mindset as we pass each other. I like to approach women in places where it would seem more appropriate; places where casual conversation is sparked and that woman’s guard is let down a little more, as opposed to passing by in the street and being “that guy who’s trying to holla”.
BOTG: Give your definition of a nice guy.
KF: I wouldn’t use the term nice guy, but good guy. And if he’s a good guy, he must be good for that woman. But generally a good guy is a guy who is confident and secure within himself and what he’s trying to establish for himself. Not to mention the usual, goals and ambitions that are realistic, feasible, and attainable. Has a general knowledge and willingness to learn how to treat a woman, as well as how a woman is supposed to treat him. He has the maturity, discipline, and acumen to prioritize and address administrative and social circumstances when dealing with a woman, in a tactful, loving manner.
BOTG: Is it good to be nice?
KF: Yes, but at the right time; or in other words, being polite. Many people mistake honesty for being mean.
BOTG: You speak a lot on women’s health, especially black women, do you really think women aren’t taking good care of themselves?
KF: I think nowadays, the word is spreading, and what used to be “cute” isn’t cute anymore. So more women are beginning to make an EFFORT, which I do commend. But the complete lifestyle change it takes to get to the health they need to be…a majority of them aren’t there yet, to be honest.
BOTG: Why do you think most women want thugs?
KF: It may be that innate, ultra-masculinity, rebellious attitude, excitement thing. But I think it’s more of a cultural, socioeconomic thing. If all you’ve grown up around and ever seen are thugs, not to mention the way the media glorifies thug rappers; it would obvious to what type of man they would be attracted to.
BOTG: What do you think men are doing wrong with women these days? I mean if you believe that something is wrong.
KF: Well, like anything, there is always room for improvement. So like I said, there are many misconceptions on chivalry, that need to be revised and questioned, and instead of women establishing them, and men reinforcing; the men must establish it. It won’t be easy because how confident and honest will these men be to establish it.
BOTG: Tell us about your second book ‘Rebounding the Right Way.’
KF: This was something a bit more introspective than my first title, “Leave The Fairy Tales Up To Disney”. Breaking up is the night to dating’s day. I believe there is a right and wrong way to do everything, and so there it was.
BOTG: What influenced you to write this one?
KF: I realized there is a 99% chance you won’t marry the very first person you date, and if you are that 1% who does marry that first person, there is still a 50% chance to whether you’ll stay together or not. So inevitably, almost everyone has, is, or will experience a breakup. So why not compose something to ease that transition.
BOTG: Tell us about your company, your business, Prosper Unlimited LLC. What do you do?
KF: Prosper Unlimited LLC is a company that emphasizes changing lives by changing financial discipline. In order to manage your money, you must manage your heart; and a well managed heart leads to a well managed life.
Prosper Unlimited LLC markets personal finance plans that let you know upfront, how much you make, how much you spend, how much you save, and what you can afford; then using that information to meet or beat where you were at the previous month.
BOTG: What are your views on marriage? Ever plan on getting married?
KF: Marriage has ambiguous meanings to different people. In a worldly aspect, it is a legal, contractual, binding agreement in which a man and woman share everything they own and are officially recognized by the government as a couple, and all the benefits thereof.
Spiritually, marriage is a union of souls into eternity where life and abundance is bred for the sake of family and nation. It is a replication of the relationship between God and Man, and Jesus and the Church, and so on. All this is symbolized by the marriage ceremony. The healthy marriage isn’t a healthy marriage without a healthy relationship.
I think about marriage all the time. When the spiritual aspect of our relationship is met then the worldly aspect will consummate it.
BOTG: So if you had the power to change the interaction between men and women, what would you do?
KF: I would teach men how to talk, and women how to listen.
BOTG: Describe confidence. This is something a man has to have, tell us how a man can generate it.
Confidence is simple knowing who you are and who you aren’t. Everything flows out of this understanding.
A man can generate this confidence by constantly pursuing his potential identity. There is no ideal identity simply because there is always room for improvement. That’s what makes life interesting.
BOTG: Would you say that the game is mostly about looks?
KF: The looks are only the bait to catch the fish. In some cases, it’s not even about that when getting a nut is involved. But in dating, there has to be some personality, charisma, passion, and sociability.
BOTG: What are your thoughts on male empowerment groups like this one?
KF: Honestly, empowerment ought to be unisex. There must be some balance because where ever you focus your efforts, your productivity elsewhere will lack. Love is power, and it transcends gender, or anything else.
BOTG: What is the most important thing to remember about Kevin Ferere?
KF: You will respect me.
BOTG: Would you say that to get and maintain a woman, a man has to be somewhat heartless?
KF: Definitely not, but he must exhibit a degree of sternness. In which, he is honest and straightforward, tactfully, no matter how hurtful it may SEEM. And he must have no ulterior motive, but to love on and see his partner, and his relationship, progress.
BOTG: Has a woman ever said no when you approached and then changed her mind?
KF: Not in that exact way, but yeah. It’s kind of like a saving face type situation, because she kinda buttered up but still held back. I tend to think women have more pride than men.
BOTG: What do you think women need or want most from a man?
KF: They want attention and financial security. That’s the simplest way I can put it.
BOTG: What is the difference between a nice guy and a Mack?
KF: A Mack plays games, you can never take him seriously or come at him straightforward; because he is always seeking a device of manipulation and deception.
BOTG: You once said “Dating is the foundation of marriage. Marriage is the foundation of Family and Family is life.” Describe the ideal date.
KF: An ideal date would be in a public, social setting of either persons best interest where they can both be comfortable and relax together remotely; get to know each other, and engage in a positive, productive, jovial activity. They’ll discuss what needs to be discussed upfront as far as family status, occupation, etc.
Then on maybe the next few dates (if there is a next date) discuss matters of more personal, like childhood upbringing, medical issues, or dramatic or traumatic experiences, etc. But all the while, with the person of getting to know each other.
BOTG: How do you overcome your fears or nerves when or if it arises?
KF: I ask myself why am I afraid of, and when I come up with an answer, I ask myself what’s the best way to confront it; because I know the only way to overcome it is by confronting it. Then I confront it.
BOTG: What are your future plans?
KF: To eventually become a life coach and speaker on what I call “Psychological Finance” as well as dating.
BOTG: Good Luck on your ventures.
Websites
Leave the Fairy Tales Up To Disney; The Reality of Dating
Rebounding The Right Way
Proper Unlimited LLC
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