A Feminine Touch: Nadia Arain
Founder of The Spapreneur Consulting and Published Author.
Based in London, UK. Will travel anywhere the urge takes her!
BOTG: What do you think of the feminist movement?
NA: The Feminist movement was initially very rewarding, women waking up and fighting to be treated with respect and consideration, however in today’s world, the message has gone south and feminism has now become a euphemism for man-hating.
BOTG: What do you think of the interaction between men and women today?
NA: Absolutely awfully horrendous. Women are Sex objects and Men are Success Objects. There is no class, respect or shame left from either side what so ever. People have become selfish to an unimaginable extent.
BOTG: What qualities do you think it takes a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman?
NA: A man must be a Leader, Protector and a Provider. A woman must be Nurturing, Independent and able to Cooperate.
BOTG: What do you think are the roles of men and women in a relationship or marriage?
NA: The roles are very simple and subliminally we re-enact them in all our interactions. A man should have clear sense of direction and leadership combined with authority and a woman should be able to be led (within reason) and provide a solid emotional safe ground for the man. A man’s only source of emotional intimacy, is a woman.
BOTG: Why do you think a lot of women (especially black women) are single?
NA: Many women are single because of their attitude. It is very masculine, harsh and abrasive and makes a man feel unwanted. Since I am not Black, I cannot subjectively comment on it however from an on-lookers perspective, Black women (and this isn’t all!) are very tough to approach as a lot of Black men have told me. There is far too much drama and not enough calmness that would make someone warm up to them.
BOTG: Why are women so eager to get married? Would you say marriage changes anything?
NA: Women are eager to get married because of societal conditioning. We are told it is the only thing that makes us “complete”. Women are more interested seemingly in the entire event and the man is just the pawn there to complete it. They think that marriage is a fairy-tale, that is a wedding; actually.
Marriage changes your perspective. It is a life time commitment to someone that you have trusted to follow through when the chips are down because you love them and they do too. It brings a set of responsibilities both emotional and financial and you are now dealing with a family that are related to you for life. To a degree, you lose your freedom however for someone that you cannot see yourself without. And that is a blessing.
BOTG: If you had the power to change the interaction between men and women what would it be?
NA: Women respecting themselves by covering up more. I am tired of seeing everything out with women. We all look the same, body-wise. A man approaches you based on how you are dressed.
BOTG: Give your definition of a nice guy.
NA: A nice guy is a man who has been trained to seek female approval because during his adolescence, either directly or indirectly—he was shamed out of his raw masculine presence, which is showing up authentically.
BOTG: What do you think of a man that does anything you want?
NA: I am worried. Again, it ties in to the above point. I desire a man to have his own mind, to be free in speech regardless of whether we agree or disagree. I don’t respect him at all.
BOTG: Is it good for a man to be nice?
NA: Absolutely! I don’t want an asshole! By nice, I will rephrase it to “I would like my man to be emotionally kind to me”. Much better.
BOTG: Give your definition of a thug and why women love thugs.
NA: A thug is someone who projects an overtly macho (not masculine) image to women and the world at large, to garner points on how manly he is, whilst hiding a fragile, insecure ego that is terrified to admit he is a coward and a bully, all in one. Women love thugs because they haven’t evolved to a point of high self-esteem and they are attracted to sexual volatility of fearlessness and confidence.
BOTG: In a relationship what do you bring to the table?
NA: I bring Wisdom, Justice, Humour, Intelligence, Beauty (both aesthetically and emotionally) and a safe place to be, for a man. I challenge a man’s ideals, expland his horizons and complement his weaknesses with my strengths.
NA: I have always wanted to give back to women. When I was 21, a man I loved so deeply broke my heart open literally (I don’t believe in broken hearts) so bad that my book helped heal me. I channeled all the pain into writing the book, it gave me direction and purpose and made me money too.
BOTG: What inspired you to write His Commitment Blueprint?
NA: Women have a strange way of always saying that men do not want to commit. Men LOVE to commit however they avoid it for the most part because they are scared to commit to the wrong woman. Once they feel they have found her and she keeps them interested, their mind ticking–it is simply a matter of time before he wants her all to himself. Women have been sold a lie and they don’t even know it.
BOTG: What would your advice or suggestion be to an up and coming author?
NA: Up and coming authors don’t need to worry about anything that the next author is doing. Writing should be part of your daily regime, as it is mine. Always look to have published work and connect with other people all the time (networking). Authors have AUTHORity. Be persistent, patience and practice, perseverance.
BOTG: How important is sex in a relationship?
NA: Sex is absolutely understated in this day and age. Sex is so important, it is the glue that holds the relationship together. I am an exceptionally sexual person, so on a scale of 1 to 10, it’s a 10.
BOTG: Would you leave a man or your husband if the sex wasn’t good?
NA: Most likely, I would attempt to work through it with him first and identify what is actually the root cause of it. But bad sex, yes—will make a woman leave. Women want sex even more than a man does.
BOTG: What would make you go the extra mile for your man?
NA: When I know he is truly one of a kind. The only time I go the extra mile for a man is when he has touched my heart in a manner I cannot ever repay him in. He would be a quintessential renaissance man and I would admire and respect his presence so much, going the extra mile would feel completely normal to me.
BOTG: Why do women compete with each other so much? (Ever heard of unity?)
NA: Women bond through backstabbing one another. I read a fabulous article that states women are always on the lookout for the best provider in a man and working together would mean that she feels her value has reduced. (yes, it’s pretty silly). Women compete SOLELY for male attention.
BOTG: It is said that black women are the ones with the most attitude what are your opinions on this? Also what do you think are the reasons behind the attitude if you believe this to be true?
NA: I will speak from an objective perspective. I would imagine so. I have worked with numerous Black women as well as been friends with quite a few and there seems to be an innate anger I cannot describe. I am not saying ALL black women are this way, I know some lovely ones and really good friends with them, however for the large percentile, and they come across as very angry and “chip on the shoulder like” for no obvious reason.
The reason of the attitude I would feel is that THEY feel Black men at large don’t do their bit to actually stick around in their lives. I’ve heard many Black ladies complain about this and it’s sad for any woman to feel left alone when a man leaves you.
BOTG: What would make you feel like you are in a boring relationship?
NA: Monotony. I have been in two boring relationships and my eyes started to wander to other men. I never cheated because I don’t believe in ever doing so however there was a sheer lack of mental stimulation and with that, I never cared for the man. I crave and I am addicted to excitement.
BOTG: What is the most important thing you look for in a man?
NA: Honesty. If a man isn’t honest with himself, how in the world would he ever be honest with me. Also on the same par, is reliability. If he just disappears, how would I ever be able to trust him to stick around when times get hard?
BOTG: On a man’s dressing what is the most important thing you look at?
NA: That he is presentable. As long as a man looks good in what he is wearing, he does me just fine.
BOTG: How do you signal to a man to approach you?
NA: This is tricky. Eye contact and a smile until he knows he has the green light.
BOTG: How do you recognize confidence in a man? I mean what makes you say “yeah he has confidence”?
NA: He walks with purpose in life. Bravado is mistaken for confidence, sadly. He is assured about himself and his life ahead of him. He treats those around him with kindness.
BOTG: What message(s) would you give to every man about to approach you?
NA: For men without a definitive purpose and intelligence, just don’t. For the men who are, speak to me and get to know me as a human being first. I have the same hopes, dreams, desires and fears as you may have when you see past my face.
BOTG: When a man is approaching you, what are your first thoughts?
NA: It depends on the man. If I like the way he looks, I am pleased! If I don’t, I am polite and work him out first. I go with my intuition about a man, it has never failed me.
BOTG: What do you normally hear from men when they approach? (in terms of chat up lines)
NA: Actually men are quite good to me. Most are intelligent and strike up decent conversation. Chat up lines are for men who are afraid of rejection. It’s an ego defence mechanism.
BOTG: What would you want to hear?
NA: I would just like the man to speak to me with respect and as a good friend would.
BOTG: Have you ever said no to a man then later changed your mind? If so why, what changed?
NA: No. I instantly know if a man is for me, or isn’t. My decisions are never swayed “by getting to know him better”. When a man shows up in his raw masculine presence, I am open to his approach. Anything else, I immediately switch off.
BOTG: What is so special about the first date that a man has to pay for everything?
NA: The first date is a job interview. Would you turn up with unkempt hair and shabby clothes ? No. You turn up with a dazzling smile and beautiful shoes! The first date is a man signalling to a woman that he is plentiful in resources to be able to provide for both of them, should he choose to court her further.
BOTG: Why do most women find it insulting for a man to suggest going halves on the first date?
NA: It signals to a woman that the man cannot provide.
BOTG: It is said that whoever ask who out is the one who pays, but women hardly ask a man out, so by default men end up paying, do you think this is reasonable?
NA: I would imagine so. A man pays to get a woman’s time. I have paid within relationships when I have been a man’s girlfriend to demonstrate my care for him and the fact I do love him to treat him too!
BOTG: Describe your best features.
NA: Deep eyes and a beautiful pout. I also have shapely legs that go on for years and a slim, yet curvaceous body.
BOTG: What do you think of men trying to empower other men to be leaders in their relationships?
NA: I adore it! Why don’t we have more of these men!?!
BOTG: What message would you give to every man out there about their woman?
NA: Pay your woman attention all the time. Women stray because we feel neglected. NEVER neglect your woman or the woman you like. She will walk away to a man who makes her feel special. Paying attention is a random phone call, picking up a chocolate she likes on the way home, listening to her day, supporting her during a rough point of her life and lots of physical affection.
BOTG: What is the most important thing to remember about Nadia Arain?
NA: My heart is as beautiful as my face. I am a cause of championship and justice and will always demand respect from a man, through my action.
BOTG: Have you always been curvy? If not how did you get like that? You workout?
NA: I have indeed always been curvy. I come from a line of women who are shaped like Sumerian Fertility Goddesses (lol!) so to find stuff to fit me past my thighs, is challenging. I do work out to stay toned and healthy.
BOTG: What would be your advice or suggestion to an up and coming model?
NA: Don’t ever degrade yourself by sleeping around and shooting nude pictures of yourself because that’s what someone told you is, cool. I am a former model, I got brilliant campaigns without ever having to remove an article of clothing. Don’t be afraid to walk out when your intuition sounds alarm bells (and it will, just keep listening!). Network as much as you can and stand your ground on being paid and receiving pictures.
BOTG: What do you do now?
NA: I am a published Author of The 21st Century Spartanite: The Strong Woman’s Guide to Ultimate Success, His Commitment Blueprint and The Spapreneur. I am a Writer, Blogger, Columnist for major sites such as Spa Canada, Spa Business, and Virgin Entrepreneur as well as Founder of The Spapreneur Consulting : Creative, Guerrilla Spa Marketing for Fast Profits in 90 days, Guaranteed, which can be found at The-Spapreneur
BOTG: What is your Enterprise about? (your company)
NA: The Spapreneur Consulting is company dedicated to providing Spa Owners/Managers creative, guerrilla marketing strategies for fast profits in 90 days, guaranteed. I specialize in Marketing and Cashflow Systems and work internationally to provide award winning guidance and inspiration to Spapreneurs looking to maximize both their life and their spa. Discover more at www.the-spapreneur.com
BOTG: What star sign are you ?
NA: I am a unconventional Aquarian. I march to the beat of a drum that only I can hear, a visionary and a humanitarian activist for truth and justice.
BOTG: What are your future plans?
NA: To diligently and consistently keep writing and scribing more books to contribute to global awareness on various paradigms as well as study Business in depth directly from those more successful than I and from Business schools, be it conventional or not. I also intend to travel the world and maximize my self-awareness fully and eventually Found a non-profit for women’s education and animal rescue however this will be a collective project with other Philanthropic Entrepreneurs.
When people ask me about my future love life I often remark and say that when the man who is equally amazing as myself finds me, he will recognise it in his heart as will I, and we will have a lifelong commitment based upon a solid, unbreakable friendship. I fully believe he is on his way to me as well as all the other wonderful abundance God has in store for me during my time here on the planet. I am remarkably fortunate to be where I am today when I look at my past and even more grateful for where I am being delivered to.
I would like to thank Squire Chambers for presenting me this opportunity through Ms Lauryn Peterson as well as acknowledge the few, rare and special Blue Diamond men below, that have helped facilitate my personal and professional growth. We truly need more of these men in our lives as leaders, warriors, lovers and sages.
An incredible thank you to Greg Dyer (@hobdragon), Reginald Swift (@Swift9000) and Pete Sapper (@petesapper) for allowing me the space to be a feminine empowered woman because they are masculine empowered, men. I would recommend the men reading this to follow these three men for Life and Male Wisdom. As a Spartanite, they have my utmost respect and I hold them in exceptionally high regard, something I rarely hold today’s modern man in, anymore.
Ups and Down Hot-Desk