A Feminine Touch: Desiree Ashe Bradford
BOTG: What do you think of the feminist movement?
DAB: I am all for it! I think it’s a beautiful thing that women are coming into our own and realizing just how powerful we are and that we have the right to be what we choose to be whether it’s the president or even an amazing housewife. It’s OUR choice.
BOTG: What do you think of the interaction between men and women today?
DAB: I think it’s a struggle. Both men AND women are not respecting each other and/or letting the other play their role. I think both sexes tends to use the whole “new woman” ideal as an excuse in whichever way works in their favor at the time.
BOTG: What qualities do you think it takes a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman?
DAB: The qualities that it takes for me to consider a guy as a “man” are doing what he has to do to make sure his family is protected and supported mentally, physically, and financially and doing it smartly, having some sort of goals and ambitions in life and actually working towards them, and having respect for himself and those around him. The qualities for a woman to be a woman is to do all of that of a man and still be able to carry herself as a lady. So technically we have a little more of a responsibility. Just saying. lol.
BOTG: What do you think are the roles of men and women in a relationship or marriage?
DAB: In a relationship I think that the man should make sure he’s doing anything he could to make sure his woman feels like a queen and a woman should make her man feels like the king, simply put.
BOTG: Why do you think a lot of women (especially black women) are single?
DAB: Most women are 1 of 2 things, either too afraid to be vulnerable and let a man play his role or take advantage of a man being a man and expects him to do everything.
BOTG: Why are women so eager to get married? Would you say marriage changes anything?
DAB: Women are eager to get married because it’s just part of the fairy tale dream we’ve always pictured. We want to pick out a dress, plan the wedding, get a big house, have kids…it’s just a natural mind set we have as women. With marriage comes that sense of stability. However, surprisingly these days there are a lot of women that could care less about marriage, I’m not one of them, but I know and have met a lot that feel that way.
BOTG: If you had the power to change the interaction between men and women what would it be?
DAB: Well as a southern girl that was raised by her grandparents; I tend to be very old fashioned when it comes to what I expect. I think the guy should chase the girl and win her over, nice gestures, dinner dates, etc. Once she’s “caught” (for a lack of better words) he should continue to be the same guy and not just quit because he has her now. However, now it’s time for the woman to step up and show that she wants him in her life. Now is the time for the woman to be comfortable enough to show some vulnerability and perform nice gestures to show that she appreciates him and needs him just as much as he needs her because we DO all need each other as much as we hate to admit it.
BOTG: Give your definition of a nice guy.
DAB: A “nice” guy is a pleasant guy, sweet, does nice things, etc.
BOTG: What do you think of a man that does anything you want?
DAB: I do not like a “yes man” who jumps when I say jump. Those are the guys that tend to get taken advantage of also and I am not attracted to that. At the same time I do think a guy should go out of his way to make his girl happy. Call this weird, but I like a guy who will tell me no and let me know when I’m pushing it…but then somewhere down the line ends up surprising me, not all the time, but more often than less.
BOTG: Is it good for a man to be nice?
DAB: Of course.
BOTG: Give your definition of a thug and why women love thugs.
DAB: Women love thugs because we all think that we could be the woman that makes them want to commit and change their ways. It’s a thrill. It’s not so much that we love they’re wrong-doings, we love their edgy qualities. As we mature, we realize that it doesn’t work as pleasantly as wished once you have to deal with the jail calls and drug busts…but I digress. However, I, for example, admit to having a high attraction for guys that maybe use to be a thug and is now on the correct track because of their typical mind set, the feel of protection, money motivation, a need to provide and so forth. But if they are still in that “thug” stuff, I don’t have time to deal with it.
BOTG: In a relationship what do you bring to the table?
DAB: I believe I bring a lot to the table. I try my hardest to be there for my guy as to the best of my ability, stick by his side, keep his head on track and motivate him, help him out when he’s down, etc. All of this ONLY comes to a guy who is doing what he’s supposed to be doing on his end as well though. You get out what you put in.
BOTG: How important is sex in a relationship?
BOTG: Would you leave a man or your husband if the sex wasn’t good?
DAB:I wouldn’t marry if the sex wasn’t good so that pretty much sums that up.lol. But that’s why you date and get engaged first to give you time to see if you can fix those things beforehand so if you one day wake up and decide you can’t do it anymore, you can just leave instead of divorcing and breaking something sacred.
BOTG: What would make you go the extra mile for your man?
DAB: Marriage. Once I’m married there is nothing I will not do to fight for it. Divorce is literally the very last option in my book. I will go to the ends of the Earth for my husband in hopes that he would do the same for me, and that’s how it should be.
BOTG: Why do women compete with each other so much? (Ever heard of unity?).
DAB: Estrogen lol. I don’t know and I don’t really understand it. I believe in raising women up. I’m always complimenting women; however I have had my catty moments. I wish I had an explanation but I don’t.
BOTG: It is said that black women are the ones with the most attitude what are your opinions on this? Also what do you think are the reasons behind the attitude if you believe this to be true?
DAB: I agree. We do have the most attitude but it’s because of the way we were raised. We were taught to be strong and to fight for what we believe because if we don’t, no one is ever going to do it for us and that is the truth. Yes, it can definitely be toned down a little but it has its reason and purpose. Black woman just need to control and keep it down to a minimum, that’s really what the issue is, lack of self-control. Not all black women, but a lot.
BOTG: What would make you feel like you are in a boring relationship?
DAB: If the sex wasn’t good, we never went out, and we didn’t experience new things together or surprise each other. Same routine every day gets very boring and agitating.
BOTG: What is the most important thing you look for in a man?
DAB: Masculinity, goals and ambition, faith in God, and respect for their mother.
BOTG: On a man’s dressing what is the most important thing you look at?
DAB: Shoes. It’s not the most important but it’s definitely probably the first thing I check out as far as what he’s wearing because it can tell you a lot about a guy, if they’re clean cut, street, etc.
BOTG: How do you signal to a man to approach you?
DAB: Well I happen to be very horrible at this.haha. I’m not good at letting a guy know to approach me, but once you do you WILL know if I’m interested or not. Apparently I get this look in my (huge) eyes that only guys happen to catch, so I’ve been told several times. I suggest just going for it though, what are the odds? I’m a really nice person too, so even if I’m not interested, I promise I won’t be rude. You’ll have a good conversation regardless.
BOTG: How do you recognize confidence in a man? I mean what makes you say “yeah he has confidence”?
DAB: The way he carries himself and his approach. You can tell 1 minutes into speaking with a guy his level of confidence.
BOTG: What message(s) would you give to every man about how to approach you?
DAB: Me specifically, make me laugh and have confidence. Right there, I just gave you the secret to my good grace.lol.
BOTG: When a man is approaching you, what are your first thoughts?
DAB: Usually I’m like “oh god…I don’t have time”.haha. But like I said before, I’m always nice about it and sometimes it turns out to be a good thing that they approached me. I guess it’s more about the setting. On the street I get weary about it but at a bar or lounge or somewhere more approachable, I’m very chatty and do enjoy the approach.
BOTG: What do you normally hear from men when they approach? (in terms of chat up lines).
DAB: Unfortunately its very typical things. A few compliments and what they would allegedly do for me, which is usually bs and totally irrelevant being that I don’t know you nor do I want to now. Here is a secret for guys and a tip for girls, every time a guy asks me for my number, I say “What’s my name”, this is so sad but it’s usually an easy way to keep it moving because I swear they almost NEVER know because all they care about is that number.
BOTG: What would you want to hear?
DAB: Well first of all try asking for my name. Then try to remember it. Then something different and funny and a little more directed to me to show that its ME that you actually want and not that you’ve just been trying to talk to every girl that has walked passed you in the last 10 minutes.
BOTG: Have you ever said no to a man then later changed your mind? If so why, what changed?
DAB: Yes. They put in extra effort. If you really want something, you’re going to go after it. To have a guy really put in effort to win you over at some point you feel like you have to at least give them a chance and who knows, they might pleasantly surprise you. It’s happened to me.
BOTG: Describe your best features.
DAB: Well I always say I’m face, legs, and personality. I take a lot of pride in how I carry myself and I think I’m a professional at accentuating the features I think are my best whether it’s the way I do my makeup or the things that I wear. As far as personality, just talk to me!
BOTG: What do you think of men trying to empower other men to be leaders in their relationships?
DAB: Men should be leaders in the relationship. It’s part of being a man. However, in the words of the lovely Syleena Johnson, “you wanna be the boss, you gotta pay the cost”.
BOTG: What message would you give to every man out there about their woman?
DAB: Respect, love, and cherish her. Relationships are way simpler then people make them out to be. It’s hard work but if you love her, you’re willing to do what you have to do to keep her happy.
BOTG: What is the most important thing to remember about you?
DAB: With me it’s simple. You get what you put in. I love doing things for my guy. If you deserve it, I’m going to show you that you deserve it. Another thing is that I am a complete and total goofball, I’m so silly and I always fall for the guys that I can be silly with.
BOTG: Have you always been curvy?
DAB: If not how did you get like that? You work out? I don’t consider myself curvy. I actually use to be a big girl when I was young and I’ve worked down to the size I am now and work even harder to maintain it.
BOTG: What would be your advice or suggestion to an up and coming model?
DAB: Work hard, stay humble, turn your dream into goals and do anything and everything in your will to reach each goal before giving up or complaining.
BOTG: What do you do now?
DAB:Still modelling and I do not plan on ever stopping. I’m really focused on imaging myself right now and going further into hosting. I’m also working on a project right now that I can’t speak of yet but it should be catching flame by the end of this year.
BOTG: What is your star sign?
DAB: Capricorn baby!
BOTG: What are your future plans?
DAB: I plan to move to Miami in a few years to open up my own boutique PR firm that will prosper into a major PR firm as it grows its clientele. Relationship wise, I plan to marry and hopefully have 2 kids but I will not be doing any of that until I am established and comfortable enough in the route of my career to be able to take on having a family and being able to give them a strong foundation.
BOTG: Thank you.